CENTRAL VIEW for Monday, May 27, 2024

The Bet: USA vs. Sweden

Leaving some German money to cover the food and for a night never to be forgotten for cows mooing and emitting rude odors that "were not in the brochure," we made it to Garmisch.

Resuming The Plan, we drove on to Lake Eibsee and took the cable car (think Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood in "Where Eagles Dare") to the summit of the Zugspitze.

A combination of wine from the Schneefernerhaus Bar and high altitude caused Wonder Fiancée to have a lapse in judgment. She agreed to become Wonder Wife.

Before she could come to her senses, we rushed back to the Frankfurt Airport. Wonder Fiancée pledged to obtain any licenses required and to find a Justice of the Peace to tie the knot.

Before Christmas, we said goodbye to her parents, said our vows before a J.P. and headed for Washington-Dulles where my dearest Army friends saw us off with bottle of Champagne.

Although Protestants, we attended Christmas Midnight Mass in a great cathedral where Wonder Wife discovered the Germans stole "Silent Night." Fortunately, Wonder Wife has an ear for languages and it was not long before she was working as a dental-hygienist in a German dental practice where only German was spoken. Soon, the patients thought the blue-eyed blond was German.

Later, when my shirt-tail Swedish cousin, the Countess Madeleine Hamilton, invited us to visit, we found ourselves in a small castle on the Swedish "Rivera" occupied by her father and Lt. Colonel, Count John Hamilton, the commander of a Swedish armored cavalry squadron.

Over drinks, Colonel John said, "Forgive the stereotyping; however, we Swedes have a very low opinion of your draft dodgers who are here abusing alcohol, drugs, and stealing things."

About the draft dodgers, John was correct; however, I counterattacked by saying, "It may be a stereotype, but Americans think Swedish women are promiscuous, Shaking hands and sex are about the same."

Only a bet would settle that argument. But first, some background on Clan Hamilton in Sweden. During the Thirty Years War, the King of Sweden hired two regiments of Scots, each commanded by colonels named Hamilton. Unable to pay cash at war’s end, the Hamiltons received prime farm land and titles, instead. During our 1973 visit, 360 Hamiltons lived in Sweden.

Back to the bet: Knowing John understood Adventure Training, I proposed to send nine of my troopers to spend a week rubber rafting down a major Swedish river that ran right by the family castle.

Immediately, John promised his lorries (trucks) would meet the young Americans at the Malmö ferry and truck them up river. If they reached the castle without incident, he would host them for a weekend of parties and then truck them to Malmö for the ferry back to West Germany.

Meanwhile, he would survey the families who lived along the river to see what impressions they had of the young Americans who were patriotically serving their country in uniform.

Once my troops were back in Fulda, my task was to debrief them and report their impressions of the Swedish people to Colonel John. In like manner, John would share the results of his survey with me. Next week, the results.

©2024. William Hamilton.

Dr. Hamilton can be contacted at:

Email: william@central-view.com